Patrick Jennings, Michael Austin illustrator
Hissy Fitz lives with some two-legged creatures who are destined to serve him in every possible way and understand his every whim. Sadly, these creatures are sorely lacking in their skills. For one thing—they touch him when they want to touch him. Don't they know that the two-legged are there for him to touch when he wants to—meaning when he wants food? Petting wakes him up! They speak to him—don't they know the two-legged should be seen (so Hissy knows where to demand food from) and not heard?! It's becoming intolerable. What is this irascible cat to do?